What I Wish I Learned Before Having Boys

Normally I do a “What I Learned” type post but considering I’m still learning what it’s like to raise boys, I figured this was appropriate.

By the way, I fully expect to add to this list as early as this afternoon…

  • We have yet to experience bunk beds (I secretly fear them, but know they are coming) but I will say that I wish I had invested in a padded headboard for my 3-year-old.
  • Every male should have the middle name: Kamikaze. Just write it in on the birth certificate.
  • LEGO Duplo blocks hurt like a mother when you step on them with bare feet.
  • Tampons make great parachute packs for GI Joes (see above).
  • Do not put carpet in the bathrooms.
  • Actually, don’t have in the bathrooms that you don’t want to get “wet”.
  • The fascination with the pen!s starts in the womb.
  • Anything can be made to resemble a gun (see the line directly above).
  • Dog piles, wrestling, farting, burping, putting a hose between your legs while laughing… it’s all in their DNA and it can’t be changed. So don’t even try.
  • Sometimes you just have to let go (or walk into another room and bite your tongue).
  • All knock knock jokes will contain any (or all) of the following words: fart, burp, poop, pee pee, poo poo head…
  • Get over your fears of creepy crawly things because your son will eventually hand you a worm.
  • A dirt-crusted face with a smile is the most adorable thing ever (I wasn’t anticipating this one at all).
  • Football really isn’t all that bad after all.
  • You may think you are a “girl mom” until you have all boys (I didn’t anticipate this one, either).
  • The term Mama’s Boy is no lie.
  • It’s likely there will be (multiple) grey hairs by age 32.




  1. 1

    Love this and agree with every.single.one. And I’m 32 and can vouch for the grey hair.

  2. 3

    I found your blog through my sister (lesliesarna.com) and I’m so happy I did. I just had my (first?) boy and I while I am sad I won’t be introducing him to Sixteen Candles or Jane Austen, I am looking forward to that little dirt-covered face. :-) Thanks for the list!

  3. 5

    This made me laugh so hard! Some I’ve already dealt with, while others are probably in my future. I have 2 boys, 3 and 1, so this was a post I could totally relate to. Thanks for sharing!

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