What I Wish I Learned Before Having Boys

Normally I do a “What I Learned” type post but considering I’m still learning what it’s like to raise boys, I figured this was appropriate.

By the way, I fully expect to add to this list as early as this afternoon…

• We have yet to experience bunk beds (I secretly fear them, but know they are coming) but I will say that I wish I had invested in a padded headboard for my 3-year-old.

• Every male should have the middle name: Kamikaze. Just write it in on the birth certificate.

• LEGO Duplo blocks hurt like a mother when you step on them with bare feet.

• Tampons make great parachute packs for GI Joes (see above).

• Do not put carpet in the bathrooms.

• Actually, don’t have in the bathrooms that you don’t want to get “wet”.

• The fascination with the pen!s starts in the womb.

• Anything can be made to resemble a gun (see the line directly above).

• Dog piles, wrestling, farting, burping, putting a hose between your legs while laughing… it’s all in their DNA and it can’t be changed. So don’t even try.

• Sometimes you just have to let go (or walk into another room and bite your tongue).

• All knock knock jokes will contain any (or all) of the following words: fart, burp, poop, pee pee, poo poo head…

• Get over your fears of creepy crawly things because your son will eventually hand you a worm.

• A dirt-crusted face with a smile is the most adorable thing ever (I wasn’t anticipating this one at all).

• Football really isn’t all that bad after all.

• You may think you are a “girl mom” until you have all boys (I didn’t anticipate this one, either).

• The term Mama’s Boy is no lie.

• It’s likely there will be (multiple) grey hairs by age 32.