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Finding the support you need and deserve

January 30, 2012 By

Fairly recently I realized that my son’s life (and my life) has been slowly turning upside down over the past 3+ years. I don’t think I was fully capable of realizing this until I was ready to hear the truth… and seek professional help from a trustworthy source that saw the bigger picture. (Yes, that was hard to say). I was finally ready to hear it, I heard it and now, after yet another productive conversation, I can’t seem make things happen fast enough.

I spent a good deal of my evening on the phone with a complete stranger. Except she isn’t really a stranger, she’s also a mother — a mother of a child who needed guidance and help in order to fit into his everyday life and with everyday activities that we often take for granted. Her son had sensory integration issues from a very early age, even earlier than my little guy. And while I’ve never met, seen or spoken to this woman before tonight, I felt completely comfortable telling her some of our deepest, darkest, happiest and saddest moments that we have been through in the past few years and the ones we are currently going through. We didn’t have to know each other, we could simply relate to each other and that’s all that mattered.

The relief I feel tonight after one phone call is astonishing. This mom brought up some extremely helpful way on how to advocate for my child — things I know I would have eventually gotten to in my own time but sometimes it just takes spewing your thoughts to someone that will listen (and to someone that can relate) to get you to motivated enough to push ahead. Sometimes you need to get out of your own head for a minute.

Finding someone you can relate to and openly talk to about what you are going through, no matter how large or small on the scale the issue may be, is one of the best things you can do for yourself as a mother. And from what I’m finding out, there are more people willing to help than you can begin to imagine.

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Laughter keeps us (or me) sane

January 18, 2012 By

Just one of his faces

Laughter really is the best medicine in this house. My day can start off much like waking up on the wrong side of the bed (today) and turn out to be something so much more just by laughing at my kids.

Yes, I laugh at my kids. Often.

They are so sweet and so cute and seem to think they are pretty funny so… it really ends up being all of us laughing together. Which makes everyone laugh even harder. Then, the baby puts on his little act and the tears start rolling — from laughing. Sometimes the 4-year-old gets a little crazy and messes up the mood by throwing his body into whoever is closest (resulting in a bad kind of cry) but that doesn’t happen much anymore. Thankfully.

Balancing work with the kids has also proven to be something to laugh about – and not a good laugh. But throw in some sick kids and suddenly the balance shifts to mostly kids. I’m not happy that half my kids are sick (one is sick and one is half sick… or has allergies. The verdict is still out), but I am thankful that the situation today has allowed me to be in those moments — the ones that make me laugh. The ones that make me a little saner.

For example… While driving away from the school after dropping off the 4-year-old, my 9-year-old longingly gazed out his window at the kids playing on the grass. Then this happened.

Him: “I wish I wasn’t sick today.”
Me: “I know, bud. You want to be at school, huh?”
Him: “Yeah…”
Me (trying to slide in the importance of eating healthy): “That’s why we need to take care of our bodies, eat right and get good sleep.”
Him (He tuned me out by the time I said the word need): “I hope I’m better by Friday.” (There’s a school event on Friday).
Me: “Well, let’s rest and get better and hopefully you will be.”
Him: “Yes… I know. I need to get wealthy.”
Me (after laughing so hard that I had to pull the car over): “You mean healthy, right?”

Later while at home, my toddler decided to turn the Disney Junior songs (the ones between Little Einsteins and Jake and the Neverland Pirates) into rap songs by adding a “Yeahhhhh.” after each verse. And in the deepest possible tone he could muster. He eats it up, too. Laughter to this child is like batteries to Tickle Me Elmo. (And we might need to lay off the Gym Class Heroes – Stereo Hearts song a little bit).

Seriously though, if it weren’t for these goofballs (and my mom showing up mid-day with a giant chocolate cupcake), I think I would have gone a little insane today.

How was your day?

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Wordless Wednesday- Shame On The Rainbow

October 26, 2011 By

Note to self: check pockets before washing all your favorite pants and shirts with a 9-year-old boy’s jacket.

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Living with Happy Chaos (GIVEAWAY)

October 12, 2011 By

Don't worry... that's my copy.

H A P P Y   C H A O S

From Punky to Parenting and My Perfectly Imperfect Adventures In Between — By Soleil Moon Frye

I picked up my copy of Happy Chaos– and just like I do with every book– I opened it to a random page.

Page 113.

Knowing when to ask for help…

(in a chapter called Yes, Michael Jackson Was My Babysitter)

I nodded in agreeance. I smiled. I giggled. I closed the book… then reopened it to page 1.

Page 1 welcomed me to Happy Chaos (hey, that sounds remotely familiar); it also starts with a section called Question of the Day complete with answers from Facebook fans and Twitter followers. I read on to find that Soleil, like many of us, turns to social media as one of the ways to find support from other parents going through the same journey… Parenthood. Throughout the book she also shares parenting tips that work/worked for her and her family– like when she introduced her second child to her daughter, creative ways she encourages her children when they try new foods, how she makes time for her loved ones and ways she continues to be an interactive parent.

Now, I wont summarize the whole book because, what fun would that be?– although I totally could because it had me in stitches multiple times and maybe even prompted me to yell out with some underlying passion, “I so get that!”. The best part was that I was able to relate to a lot of what she said…everything except the star-studded childhood. That part was fun to read about though.

I loved reading Happy Chaos. It made me smile. Plus I’m a huge advocate of supporting other parents, even in the simplest of ways– like sharing stories. There’s nothing better than knowing that you are not alone in the land of parenting. (Especially when you are going through a trying time… and I’ve had my fair share of those). It definitely takes a village and sometimes you just have to laugh with your village because not only do kids have their own agendas, they teach us a lot along the way.

One thing I took from reading about Soleil’s life and adventures is that sometimes I need to just let go and accept. Let go of all the little things, accept that there’s no such thing as perfection, focus on the good, embrace the fun that can be had and treasure the memories that are being made along the way. Soleil has that part down… or at least she tries to.

 

Here’s a great excerpt from Happy Chaos:

EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION
Heart-to-heart talks are great, but when our kids are having a hard time articulating
how they’re really feeling, I will ask them to draw it out. Rather than send the kids to
their rooms to calm down, I’ll ask them to draw me a picture about how they are
feeling.

Soleil can be found as Target’s Mommy Ambassador on Twitter, Facebook and on her online community, Moonfrye.

You can purchase Happy Chaos on Amazon (HERE) or you can continue reading…

 

GIVEAWAY TIME!

Enter below to win a copy of Happy Chaos signed by Soleil Moon Frye

 



 

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10 Things I Love (BlogHer Edition)

August 4, 2011 By

I had not one but two posts scheduled to go… but? Life. That’s pretty much all I really have to say but you know I wont just leave it at that.

As if packing 27 pairs of shoes, running a killer contest, planning some awesome stuff, and drinking 5 cups of coffee (in 2 hours) isn’t crazy enough (in a good way)(well maybe not the coffee part– I was a little twitchy for about 6 hours)… My baby (toddler) decided to go and spike a fever the night before I leave for BlogHer. So instead of drinking my “sleepy time tea” (tylenol pm anyone?) I’m setting my alarm every 4 hours to check on my little sickling.

Basically, if you’re going to BlogHer, I’ll be the one with one eye open, coffee cup in hand and I might use your shoulder as a pillow. I promise I don’t snore. But… I’ll look good (I’m not that vain) because I have spent the past few days (prior to the fever part) playing dress-up in everything Yummie Tummie. I’m in love with everything and I’ll be wearing everything Yummie for the next 3 days. Basically I encourage you to come check out my butt, hips and tummy.

Also, if you’re going to BlogHer, here are some useful or useless things about me that I took from a previous post.

 

10 Things I Love

1. Coffee. I was never one to drink coffee every.single.morning till I had kids. Three kids later, you don’t want to speak to me or see me before I’ve had my morning coffee. (I want to take this moment to formally apologize to my BlogHer roommate, Christine).

2. Thank You Cards. or any paper product for that matter. I love cards. I love buying them, I love making them, I love finding new designs, I love the way I feel when I receive a card in the mail, I love sending out a little hand written hello. (I’m so going to get my paper on at The Queen Bee Market on Saturday).

3. Sleep. Maybe it was all those years of waking up at a gawd awful hour to strap on some white boots with sharp, shiny blades (ice skates) and exercise create beautiful movements (ok, I totally just laughed at myself) but I love me some sleep. Why I keep having kids, I don’t know. Totally kidding. I could sleep all day after sleeping all night. I’m a total bear if I don’t get at least 8 hours of sleep. What mom gets more than 8 hours of sleep?! That’s probably why coffee is #1 on my list. (Again, I’ll be the one with one eye open and coffee cup in hand).

4. Feather Pillows. and not just one or two. 5 feather pillows. While we’re on the topic of feathers and sleep, I can’t forget the feather comforter. Which now brings me to- soft, super high thread count sheets. (You better believe I travel with pillows).

5. Sweets After Dinner. My grandpa passed this one down. Even if it’s a small bite of dark chocolate, I must have something sweet after dinner. (I’m told that during BlogHer, drinks count for this one).

6. Quiet Time. (How I think I’ll be party hoping, I do not know– see #3).

7. Watching Drama TV. (Good thing I just spent 5 hours on the couch with my girl Megan watching The Bachelorette and got that out of my system).

8. Music. I love all things music. I always have music playing- in the car, in the house, in my head- and now my kids love music which, makes me so so happy. (Don’t worry, I don’t sing. But you might catch me bobbing my head).

9. Lenny Kravitz. I am mesmerized by this man. (Anyone know if he’s going to BlogHer?)

10. My Family. (The token family shout-out. Although, this time, I’m really going to have them on my mind… thanks to the stupid fever).

 

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